The power of not wanting
I seem to want things all the time. I want sales. I want money. I want resources. I want to build things. I want people to pat on my back. I want to be liked. I want respect. I want time. I want to be useful. What if I don’t want – even if it is just for a few moments. Not wanting sets me free. In that freedom lies great power to do things exactly the way I want because I really don’t want.
Wanting makes me desperate and weak. Not wanting puts so much faith in my ability to make things happen that I feel heady. Instead of resisting something that I think shouldn’t be happening, I simply say yes and move forward. This somehow opens doors that I didn’t know existed. Not wanting puts me in a position of saying yes or no. Wanting puts me in a position of waiting for someone to say yes or no. Not wanting makes me think of myself as unique and the world as an abundant place full of undiscovered resources. Wanting makes me competitive, hungry with a hopeless world view that there’s not enough out there. Not wanting triggers that part of my brain that gives me ideas. Wanting puts emotions at the forefront.
Not wanting somehow gives me all the things I would think I want. It gives me time. When I’m playing with my son and think of that time as his and not mine, it makes me desperate for time. But when I don’t care about time then that time becomes mine and I seem to have infinite time. When I’m desperate to close a sale, it never closes. I come across as needy. When I don’t care about the sale, somehow I speak more truthfully and it takes its natural course to closure. When I don’t care if someone likes my work, the focus becomes the work and not useless externalities that dilute it.
Try not wanting. Now would that make you want to try it or not want to try it? Go figure.
Originally published on LinkedIn, by Praveen Suthrum, President & Co-Founder, NextServices.